The decision to become a single parent through surrogacy is both deeply personal and increasingly common. Whether you have always known you wanted to parent solo, or life's circumstances have led you here, this guide is designed to support you through every aspect of your journey.
Single intended parents face unique considerations in the surrogacy process—from choosing the right destination (not all welcome solo parents) to navigating donor decisions and building a support network. This guide addresses all of these topics with practical information and compassionate understanding of the path you are considering.
The good news? Thousands of single people have successfully built their families through surrogacy, and the options available to solo intended parents have never been better. Let us explore what this journey looks like for you.
1. Is Solo Parenting Through Surrogacy Right for You?
Before diving into the practical aspects of surrogacy, it is worth taking time to reflect on the decision to parent solo. This is not about questioning your ability—it is about ensuring you have thought through the unique aspects of single parenthood.
Questions to Consider
Why now?
What has brought you to this decision at this point in your life? Understanding your motivations helps ensure you are ready for this commitment.
What does your support network look like?
While you will be parenting solo, no one can do it entirely alone. Who will be there to help during the early months and beyond?
How will you explain your family structure to your child?
Children are curious about their origins. Having thought through how you will discuss surrogacy and donors helps you be prepared for these conversations.
Are you financially prepared for single parenthood?
Beyond surrogacy costs, consider ongoing childcare, education, and the financial security of being a single-income household.
How will parenting fit with your career and lifestyle?
Without a partner to share responsibilities, how will you balance work, childcare, and personal time?
Advantages of Solo Parenting
- Full decision-making authority on parenting choices
- No co-parenting conflicts or compromises
- Deep, focused bond with your child
- Freedom to pursue parenthood on your timeline
- Growing community of single parents by choice
Challenges to Prepare For
- Solo responsibility for all childcare and decisions
- Single income to cover family expenses
- Balancing work with no backup at home
- Addressing child's questions about their origins
- Limited personal time and self-care
The "Single Mother by Choice" and "Single Father by Choice" Movements
You are not alone. Organizations like Single Mothers by Choice (founded 1981) and single parent by choice communities have grown significantly. These communities offer support, resources, and connection with others on similar journeys. Many single intended parents find these communities invaluable both during the surrogacy process and after their child arrives.
2. Country Options for Single Intended Parents
Not all surrogacy destinations welcome single intended parents. Some are fully inclusive, others have restrictions based on gender, and some do not permit single parent surrogacy at all. Understanding your options is essential for planning your journey.
Fully Open to All Single Parents
United States (Select States)
California, Connecticut, Nevada, Washington, Oregon, and others
Cost Range
$120,000 - $200,000
Timeline
18-24 months
Legal Framework
Pre-birth orders
The most secure option for single intended parents. Pre-birth orders name you as the sole legal parent from day one. Your child is automatically a US citizen. The highest cost but also the strongest legal protections.
Colombia
Best affordable option for all single parents
Cost Range
$50,000 - $70,000
Timeline
16-20 months
Legal Framework
Post-birth court order
Colombia welcomes single men and single women equally. No genetic link required, meaning you can use both egg and sperm donors if needed. Post-birth court process takes 2-6 weeks but results in you as the sole legal parent.
Canada
Altruistic model, longer wait times
Cost Range
$80,000 - $120,000
Timeline
18-30 months
Legal Framework
Varies by province
Canada's altruistic model means surrogates are not compensated beyond expenses, resulting in smaller surrogate pools and longer wait times. However, the legal protections are strong and the country is fully inclusive of single parents.
Argentina
Emerging destination, progressive policies
Cost Range
$50,000 - $75,000
Timeline
16-22 months
Legal Framework
Court precedent
Argentina has progressive assisted reproduction laws and welcomes single intended parents. While surrogacy operates under court precedent rather than specific legislation, outcomes for single parents have been positive.
Single Women Only
Georgia (Country)
Most affordable, single women with medical indication
Cost Range
$40,000 - $55,000
Timeline
13-16 months
Single Men
Not Eligible
Georgia is one of the few affordable destinations open to single women. You must have a documented medical reason for surrogacy (inability to carry a pregnancy). Single men are not eligible under Georgian law.
Not Available to Single Parents
The following destinations do not currently permit surrogacy for single intended parents:
Our Recommendation for Single Parents
If budget allows: The USA offers the strongest legal protections, with pre-birth orders naming you as sole parent. California is particularly single-parent friendly.
If seeking affordability: Colombia is the best choice, offering full inclusion for single men and women at 60-70% lower cost than the USA.
3. Egg and Sperm Donor Considerations
As a single intended parent, you will need either an egg donor (if you are a single man) or a sperm donor (if you are a single woman using your own eggs). These decisions have lifelong implications for you and your child, so it is worth taking time to think them through.
For Single Men: Egg Donor Selection
Known Egg Donors
A friend or family member donates eggs for your surrogacy.
- +Known medical and genetic history
- +Child can know their genetic heritage
- +May have existing relationship with donor
- -Complex family dynamics possible
- -Clear boundaries essential
Anonymous Egg Donors
A donor through an agency with no ongoing contact.
- +Clear boundaries from the start
- +Large selection of donors
- +Professional screening and testing
- -Child may want to know donor later
- -Limited information about donor
Open-Identity Egg Donors
A middle ground increasingly popular among single fathers: the donor agrees to be identifiable when the child reaches adulthood (typically 18). This gives your child the option to learn about their genetic origins while maintaining boundaries during their childhood. Many single dads find this the ideal balance.
For Single Women: Sperm Donor Selection
Known Sperm Donors
A friend or chosen individual provides sperm for conception.
- +Child knows their genetic father
- +Full medical history available
- +Potential for ongoing relationship
- -Must establish clear legal agreements
- -Parental rights must be explicitly waived
Sperm Bank Donors
Donor sperm from a licensed sperm bank.
- +Extensive health screening
- +Detailed donor profiles available
- +No legal complexity with donor
- -Costs per vial ($500-$1,000+)
- -May have many half-siblings
Open-ID sperm donors are increasingly popular among single mothers by choice. Your child can request identifying information about the donor when they turn 18. Research shows many donor-conceived children appreciate this option.
Consider Your Child's Perspective
When making donor decisions, think about what your child might want to know in the future. Many donor-conceived individuals express a desire to know about their genetic heritage. Consider keeping detailed records about the donor (photos, letters, medical history) that you can share with your child when the time is right.
4. Legal Considerations for Single Parents
Single intended parents often have simpler legal processes than couples, since only one person needs to be established as the legal parent. However, there are unique considerations to address.
Sole Legal Parentage
As a single intended parent, you will be the sole legal parent of your child. This provides clarity and simplicity in most legal processes. Key advantages include:
- No second-parent adoption required
- Full decision-making authority from day one
- Simpler citizenship and passport processes
- Clearer estate and guardianship planning
Essential Legal Documents
As a single parent, certain legal documents become especially important:
Guardianship Designation
Who will care for your child if something happens to you? This should be documented legally, not just informally discussed.
Life Insurance
Ensure your child's financial security with adequate life insurance naming them as beneficiary (with a trust if they are minors).
Will and Estate Plan
A comprehensive will ensures your assets go to your child and that your wishes for their care are legally documented.
Healthcare Proxy
Designate who can make medical decisions for your child if you are temporarily incapacitated.
Donor Rights Waiver
Whether using a known or anonymous donor, ensure that donor parental rights are properly waived through legal documentation. This protects both you and your child.
- Sperm bank donors: Rights are typically waived through the bank's standard agreements
- Known donors: A donor agreement drafted by a lawyer is essential
- Egg donors: Agency contracts include rights waiver, but verify with your lawyer
5. Building Your Support Network
While you will be the sole parent, no one can parent entirely alone. Building a strong support network before your baby arrives is one of the most important things you can do for both your wellbeing and your child's.
Your Support Village
Family
Parents, siblings, and extended family can provide practical support and emotional connection. Have honest conversations about your surrogacy plans and the support you will need.
Friends
Close friends can become your chosen family. Be specific about the support you need—people often want to help but do not know how to offer.
Paid Support
Night nurses, nannies, babysitters, and housekeeping services are not luxuries for single parents—they are necessities. Budget for help in the first year especially.
Community
Single parent by choice groups, surrogacy communities, parenting classes, and local parent groups connect you with others who understand your journey.
Single Parent Organizations and Resources
Single Mothers by Choice (SMC)
Founded in 1981, SMC supports single women who have chosen or are considering single motherhood. Local chapters, online community, and resources.
Choice Moms
A community for single mothers by choice with podcasts, articles, and support resources covering conception through parenting.
Single Parents by Choice (UK)
UK-based organization supporting single women and men who are considering or have become parents through assisted conception or adoption.
Men Having Babies
While focused on gay men, this organization also supports single men pursuing surrogacy with conferences, grants, and community support.
Start Building Your Village Now
Do not wait until after your baby arrives to build your support network. Join communities, have conversations with potential supporters, and line up practical help before you begin your surrogacy journey. The people who support you through the journey will often become your closest allies as a parent.
6. Financial Planning for Single Parent Surrogacy
As a single intended parent, you will be covering all surrogacy costs alone, and you will need to plan for ongoing expenses as a single-income household. Thorough financial planning is essential.
Cost Breakdown by Destination
| Destination | Total Cost | Single Parent Eligible |
|---|---|---|
| USA (California) | $120,000 - $200,000 | Yes - All |
| Canada | $80,000 - $120,000 | Yes - All |
| Colombia | $50,000 - $70,000 | Yes - All |
| Argentina | $50,000 - $75,000 | Yes - All |
| Georgia | $40,000 - $55,000 | Women Only |
Financing Options
- Surrogacy loans: Specialized lenders offer fertility financing at 6-15% interest
- Home equity: HELOC or home equity loan for lower interest rates
- Employer benefits: Many companies now offer fertility benefits
- Grants: Some organizations offer grants for single parents
- Agency payment plans: Many agencies offer extended payment terms
Ongoing Costs to Plan For
- Childcare: $1,000-$3,000+ per month for full-time care
- Healthcare: Insurance for your child, pediatric care
- Life insurance: Critical as the sole parent
- Emergency fund: 6+ months of expenses recommended
- College savings: Starting early makes a difference
7. The Single Parent Surrogacy Journey Step by Step
Here is what your surrogacy journey will look like from initial decision through bringing your baby home.
Decision & Preparation
1-3 months- Reflect on your decision to parent solo
- Research destinations and understand eligibility
- Assess your finances and explore funding options
- Begin building your support network
- Connect with single parent by choice communities
Destination & Agency Selection
1-2 months- Choose your destination country
- Research and interview agencies
- Review contracts and fee structures
- Make your deposit and begin enrollment
- Start collecting required documentation
Donor Selection
1-3 months- Review donor profiles (egg or sperm)
- Consider known vs. anonymous options
- Complete donor matching and agreements
- Begin any required donor cycles
- Create and freeze embryos
Surrogate Matching
1-4 months- Review surrogate profiles
- Video calls with potential matches
- Complete matching and contracts
- Build relationship with your surrogate
- Prepare for embryo transfer
Medical & Legal Preparation
1-3 months- Complete all legal contracts
- Begin pre-birth order process (if applicable)
- Coordinate embryo transfer timing
- Set up escrow and payment schedules
- Prepare travel arrangements
Pregnancy
9 months- Regular updates from agency and surrogate
- Attend ultrasounds virtually or in person
- Complete legal parentage processes
- Prepare nursery and supplies
- Arrange work leave and childcare
Birth & Homecoming
1-4 weeks- Travel for the birth (plan to arrive 2-3 weeks early)
- Welcome your baby into the world
- Complete birth certificate process
- Embassy citizenship and passport procedures
- Travel home with your baby
Settling In
First months home- Adjust to life as a new parent
- Activate your support network
- Establish pediatric care
- Begin any remaining legal processes
- Enjoy your new family!
8. Solo Parent Success Stories
Hearing from others who have walked this path can be incredibly inspiring and reassuring. Here are stories from single intended parents who have built their families through surrogacy.
Michael, 42 - Single Father
Surrogacy in California, USA
"After years of focusing on my career, I realized I did not want to wait for the 'perfect relationship' to become a dad. California surrogacy was expensive, but the legal protections were worth every penny. My son is now 3, and being a single dad is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I am tired. But I would not change a thing."
Sarah, 39 - Single Mother
Surrogacy in Colombia
"I tried IVF on my own for two years before realizing it was not going to work. Colombia welcomed me as a single woman, and the cost was much more manageable than the US. My daughter was born in Bogota, and the agency supported me through the entire court process. The 6 weeks I spent in Colombia waiting for her passport were actually wonderful—I bonded with her without any distractions from home."
David, 45 - Single Father
Surrogacy in Colombia
"As a single gay man, my options were more limited than couples. Colombia stood out as the only affordable destination that would work with me. The legal process took about 5 weeks after my twins were born, but the team guided me through every step. My mom came down for the last two weeks and we brought them home together. Being a single dad to twins is intense—I could not do it without my support network."
You Can Do This
Choosing to become a single parent through surrogacy is a brave and beautiful decision. It requires planning, resources, and support—but thousands of single people have walked this path before you and built thriving families.
The journey may feel overwhelming at times, but you are not alone. Communities of single parents by choice exist to support you, agencies specialize in working with solo intended parents, and GlobalStork is here to guide you through every step.
Your child is waiting. Let us help you find your way to them.